Don't Do Pretty
by Ice wind1
Summary: Rubi doesn't do pretty...ever... ONESHOT Rated M for some strong language! R&R if you can :


(Well I've went back to playing WET and well. I've never seen a fanfic for it D: This is a humour story, so yeah, the characters will probably be a lot more out of character than they are. I know one is! Oh and before anyone asks...yeah...she has suffered some brain damage. Not our awesome Rubi! But it will click when you see it! :P Anyway! Enjoy folks! :D)

Don't do pretty…

She was reaching her limit. Thirty minutes is all he said…but now he been on that damn thing for three hours.

"…Zhei." Rubi growled from where she was leaning against on the wall.

"…Yeah…" The boy in question slurred not even taking his eyes off the screen to look at Miss Melone.

"Time to go!"

"…Yeah…ok….…five minutes…" Zhei's eyes were still transfixed on the screen.

Rubi's temper flared those flames reaching the later stage of a burning inferno. The urge to cut the twits hands off was insanely pleasing! Watching him cry his eyes out from his new lack of hands and not being able to play those stupid machines of his! Fortunately for the young one…Rubi resorted to punching the wall instead, hard for that matter. Passers by looked on at the infuriated woman as she beat the living day lights out of the building support. It was whispered that all manner of swear words were invented from the woman's frustration, in fact you could have published a book from it.

"ZHEI FOR FUCKS SAKE!" The wall wasn't enough anymore…she needed blood. Rubi stormed over toward the clueless china man and in one VERY swift movement off her sword cut the reinforced cord to the controller.

Zhei began to break from his trans, he blinked stupidly at the severed controller cord…even more so at the reinforced casing that had surrounded it in till recently. "Uh…Rubi" Zhei felt his arm caught in a vice like grip. A fuming Rubi pulled him away from his still moving car on Burnout. "Rubi?" He questioned again. She stopped turned a pair of glaring green eyes his way. "Why cut cord?" He held the item in question up the wires neatly cut.

Rubi glared at him hard. "What are you talking about? …I missed." Zhei felt a chill run down his spine. As Rubi dragged him away she smirked, pleased with the small bit of payback she'd dealt.

Upstairs there was very different battle taking place…

"I told you she won't like that!" Milo felt like he had been beating his head against a brick wall for the past three hours.

"Oh she will don't be silly!" Her voice had never been great…but the neckbrace wasn't helping it either. Tarantula was blindly thumping through a men's shirt section of the clothing department. "It's her color and everything! She'll love it! Just wait and see!"

"Tarantu-"

"Tara!" The blind woman frowned at his now wrong naming of her.

"Tara…" Milo mentally sighed. "Look I know you've been through quite a bit recently. And believe me! I know that when someone goes through a traumatic event like that they-"

"Here hold this!" Milo sighed as he was handed ANOTHER shirt for him hold onto. His arms were already hurting from the mountain he was already carrying.

"Look what I'm trying to say is! Rubi isn't a girly girl." Tarantula moved section, now thumping her way through womans underwear. " I mean Rubi IS a GIRL. But she…" He almost tripped on a sleeve from one of the many jackets stacked in the pile. "She doesn't do all that sugar and spice and everything nice! You know? Not all pink and sweet!"

"I know." The pale woman replied now going through another stack of T-shirts and piling some on the stack for good measure.

Milo was getting rather annoyed toward this point…and rather unbalanced. "I mean Rubi killed you once! How do you think she's going to act when you show her that THING? She'll probably kill you again!"

Tarantula laughed waving him away "Oh Milo you know so little about girls!" She went through more clothes with a new found vigor humming some song to herself as she done so.

"And I think you need to learn something about brain damage!" His protest fell on death…sorry deaf…uh…you know what forget it a pair of ears that just were not listening! "…Oh god Rubi is going to kill me…" Milo felt a hot sting of fear melt into his eyes as he let his head fall against the soft stack of clothing.

"…What am I going to kill you about?" Milo jumped out of his skin, clothes flying everywhere. He turned to Rubi slinging a confused and lost looking Zhei behind her…who was twanging his severed controller and sighing. Rubi's raised an eyebrow "Have you been crying?" Quickly Milo wiped his eyes as a pair of boxers obscured the pairs line of sight.

"Uh! No! No I haven't!" Unknown to Milo, Rubi had ducked under the boxers and seen him dry his eyes. "Listen Rubi I-"

"What did I say about watching Finding Nemo?" Rubi tapped her foot, Milo blinked blankly.

"But that's a good mov-No! Rubi! Tarantula is going to-"

"Rubi!" There was a crash from behind Milo, clothes and coat hangers and frailing limbs going everywhere! Somehow Tarantula manages to free herself from the tangling deathtrap. "Rubi!" She leans in for a hug but thankfully hugs a mannequin instead.

"Uh…she's over here Tara…"

"Oh!" The pale arachnid woman lets go embarrassed.

"Told ya she was brain damaged…" Rubi rolls her eyes. Milo quickly shushes her.

"Rubi!" Locked on Tarantula comes over. "You just have to try this on!" Silence…the blind woman recocks her head thinking maybe she lost them. "Rubi? Milo? Are you still there?" Nothing but silence again. "Rubi?"

"There is no way…in hell…I am ever wearing that piece of shit." Sharp steel comes to Rubi's tone…a pure flatliner no matter the bulk.

"But you'd look good in it!" Rubi's eyes twitches a plain fact rolling of her tongue.

"You don't even know what fucking color it is!"

"Yes I do. Pink. Pink for girls! I'll dress in one too if it makes you feel better!"

Sensing danger Milo dives in a nearby clothing rack. Rubi's eyes twitches her nails bite into the palms of her hands. She turns storming off.

"Fuck off!" She throws over her shoulder venomously. She doesn't make it more than two feat away when a weight comes onto her back. She fights to keep her balance, but feels fingers begin to tie something foreign in her unkept hair. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" Rubi roars trying to throw Tarantula from her back. The other woman holds on like a…like a…well like a tarantula I guess. "STUPID LITTLE WHORE! I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING NECK AGAIN!" Rubi starts spinning around in the aisle trying to knock the unwanted passenger off her back…knocking all sorts of clothing over the place in the process.

Patently the three wait outside a dressing room. Who would have thought Rubi Malone best problem fixer in the world…would be made to try something on she didn't want. Truth be told Milo had wet himself several times over during the two girls brawl…which had boiled down to Tarantula trying to strip Rubi of her clothing at one point. But still…he found himself pleased…excited even to see Rubi in the item of question. My god what on earth was he thinking? A sudden clanking of the dressing room broke him from his thoughts of pretty in pink.

"Are you fucking happy now?" Rubi stepped out looking about ready to rip anyone a new one that even glanced at her.

And there she was…Rubi Malone…in a pink dress that cut off just above her knees. And a pretty red ribbon in her messy hair. Defiantly she had left her boots on which rather ruined the whole image.

"My word you love adorable!" Rubi fummed at Tarantulas comment, she reached for her sword…only to remember it wasn't there.

"…She looks uncomfortable to me." Both boys said in unison much to the newly found fashionist disgust. Rubi had taken this cue to slip back inside the dress room…dress and ribbon being thrown over the top of the cubicle after a minute or two.

"Well I think she looks pretty in pink!" Tarantula crossed her arms the brain damage she had sustained beginning to show. "A pretty in that dress!"

There was a rustling from the dressing room "You want pink huh?" A second passed as Rubi stepped back out fully clothed in her familiar attire. "I'll give you pink."

Surrpisingly the problem solver held up a black T-shirt. The words 'I don't do pretty' scribed across, pretty was in pink. Rubi lowered the shirt.

"I don't do pretty…" She smirked, pleased with herself.


End file.
